Written by Evi Idoghor
One day during an intense morning meeting at my former place of work, I was summoned to the middle of the conference room to receive a whiplashing from my boss. I already knew this was coming because he had called me the day before to give me a piece of his mind. I handled a project for a client and delivered sub-par work. Once I heard my name, my heart began to beat a little faster. And for someone who vehemently detests any form of confrontation, I wanted to fast forward the entire ordeal and find myself at my desk, carrying out my tasks for the day.
My boss screamed at the top of his lungs while everyone (both old and new employees) sat in solitude, watching me languish in despair. My old sins were brought up, and future sins, anticipated. I kept mum as he went on and on. I believe what aggravated him the most was that I practiced restraint from engaging in a war of words. At the end of the screaming match, which he only engaged in, I walked out of the conference room and immediately, tears began to flow when some of my colleagues expressed sympathy.
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As little kids, we were thought to refrain from hitting, screaming, or being mean to others; however, in adulthood, some people lose the art of compassion when they assume their position as “boss,” or when they begin employing the services of others. This is not to say that a boss shouldn’t address an employee when they fall short, misbehave, or refuse to pull their weight, nonetheless, I believe that there are better ways to tackle certain issues in the workplace.
Some might argue that perhaps the reason for a boss lashing out is because of a bad day. If everyone expresses the way they feel due to some private issues they face away from work, then the work environment would become toxic. Instead of making excuses for unacceptable behavior, employers should create a better, safer, and healthier environment for their employees to thrive in. I have listed a few ways that this can happen:
Don’t demean your employees, especially in public: Manage issues with your staff as privately as possible. If you demean your staff, it makes them question their abilities, sink into a hole, and create a wedge between you two. Your employees are not robots but real people with real feelings.
On that day while I was on the hot seat, my work was compared to that of others, and all the effort I had put into various projects that succeeded were unacknowledged. In fact, he went ahead to credit others for the project I had executed successfully. I began avoiding him after that incident; it took me a while to recover from it.
Provide constructive feedback rather than an emotional one: I understand that money goes into the effectual running of a business and if you have employees who can disrupt your business rather than adding value, of course, you need to have a serious conversation with them. However, if you know that this is not the usual behavior of your staff, call them aside in the privacy of your office and find out what exactly is happening.
You can express your disappointment in a way that will encourage the employee to do better. If you start out by highlighting their strengths, then go ahead to show them where you have a problem with them, then your feedback will be received much better. But if you cannot contain your emotions, it will create a wedge between you and your staff.
Your staff members are the bedrock of your organization: I have heard terrifying stories about how employers treat their employees. If I am being honest, it was one of the reasons why I shied away from working for anyone for many years after I quit the above job, well, until the sapa became unbearable. I am not saying that everyone should be besties in the workplace; however, treating your employees with compassion will make them feel valued, and appreciated. It is important to have rules to guide the workplace, and to communicate them effectively. But understand that an employer-employee relationship is a mutually beneficial one.
Practice emotional intelligence: as a boss, you should know when, where, and how to speak with your employees. When you show them that you value their opinion, then they begin to trust you and remain committed to the work. Before my current employer hired me full-time, while I was still freelancing for her organization, one of the reasons I wanted to work there was because she valued my opinion. During meetings with clients, she would ask if I had anything to add or any questions to ask. I was a novice then, what did I know? However her attitude towards me, made me feel that she valued my skills.
Desist from threatening your employees: Ephesians 6:9 says, “…Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master, and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with him.” What this essentially shows us is that God is very much interested and invested in how we treat each other, even in the workplace. God doesn’t threaten us every time we fall short, as such, we shouldn’t do that to others, no matter the role they play in our organization or household.
There are some employers who always threaten their staff with firing, cutting their pay, or demotion - some sink as low as putting their hands on their staff. They use these fear tactics to keep their employees in check. However, it shouldn’t be so. You are communicating to them that they are worthless and dispensable. And if a person knows that they are easily dispensable, they will begin to research other opportunities and slowly your organization will empty out.
I currently don’t own an organization that employs people; however, I have employed the services of artisans and domestic workers. I always (at least I try to) evaluate the way I treat them, because I can’t have a problem with my employer treating me a certain way, then turn around and do the same to others. It makes no sense.
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