Written by Evi Idoghor
What I can't even begin to tell you is how difficult it has been for me to get back into the swing of things with writing. My thought process became paralyzed as a result of the lengthy and unnecessary break, and I find myself wondering, “How did you ever manage to do this?” Every idea I had was either not fully thought out or was stymied by voices in my head whispering, “No one will read this.”
It was a frustrating experience. I was on the verge of tears as I considered whether or not I had lost the ability to generate ideas and put them down on paper. Keep in mind that I've been writing and working on book projects, which has taken me away from this platform for a short while.
If you were to ask me what I really enjoy doing, I would say having meaningful conversations on this platform, conveying my thoughts, and hoping that it resonates with someone would be at the top of my list of activities. Consequently, here I am, attempting to do what I enjoy while making it a priority once more. Despite the fact that I know it will be difficult to regain people's attention, but I'm going to do it anyway! They would listen again one day.
Let's get right to the point of today's discussion. Recently, I haven't given much thought to the characteristics I would like to see in a partner. If you are familiar with this blog, in the early stages I wrote a lot about relationships and what women should look out for in a potential partner. But all of that seemed to have faded into the background. This is due to the fact that life has a way of getting in the way of things that appear to be out of reach. So, it seemed like daydreaming about what my life could be like with a future husband was a bit of a frivolous pursuit given the pressing issues that needed to be dealt with in the here and now.
However, this all changed recently, when a cousin of mine who was working on my house's renovations lived with me for two weeks. In that time, even while overseeing the work, he took such good care of me that it opened my eyes to the fact that there are good men. In an instant, I was transformed into a damsel in distress, refusing to perform household duties that I naturally detested. For example, purchasing fuel and refueling the generator. It was in those moments that I realized I needed someone thoughtful, someone who genuinely cared about me, someone who was committed to the process and wanted to see me succeed.
The Part Society Plays
We can become overwhelmed by phrases such as “there are no good men,” “all men are scum,” “men have hidden motives and agendas,” and so on, which prevents us from seeing the possibilities of what could be. People even advise others, saying, you must have your own money oh, so when you enter your husband’s house, he wouldn’t tell you rubbish!
Thus, we purchase boxing gloves because we have been told that the man is the adversary. As a result, we strategize, manipulate, and, at times, exert dominance in order to avoid being hurt. Settling, is also a common response on the part of women, when we believe our options are slim to none. Another possible issue that holds us back, is past hurt. Such feelings are understandable, but for how long are we going to be stuck in the past? It serves no purpose for us.
So, if this describes you, as it has described me for many years, this is me simply informing you that good men, who are genuine, committed, forthright, thoughtful, and caring, do exist and that you should not give up on them. Don't close yourself off, don't harden your heart, and put your faith in God to guide you to the right one. In addition, do not buy into the prevailing societal narrative that seeks to degrade men.
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Images used in this article are courtesy of Unsplash
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Good men do exist. Choose well and you won't have to call all men names because yours like many others will be the exception.