Written by Laetitia Moukouri
Can men and women just be friends? My simple take on this is no. If we are talking heterosexual humans of the opposite sex, NO. Wait now, hang on a minute and see where I am going with this. I may be wrong though, but from experience and observations, they just can’t be simple friends, and I do hope at the end of this read, you can see with me or share why your views are contrary to mine.
Image courtesy of Unsplash
To form any relationship outside the ones we are born into (family that is), there is some sort of an attraction, some reason, a motive. Something draws you to that person. It could be their take on life, their joie de vivre (excitement about life), their connections or resources, sex, physique, whatever the reason is, there is something that motivates two people to bond and develop a friendship.
Me? I have gravitated towards people for the weirdest reasons; they had the perfect smile or an accent, I know, I can be shallow. But what's wrong in looking at an ideal smile while you listen to someone talk? Just saying. Men and women are wired very differently it’s clear. While women will form friendships with men and stick to being platonic because they genuinely believe in a platonic relationship with a guy, men, on the other hand, initially have or eventually develop some form of sexual attraction towards their female friends.
Now, let's put this in perspective. Ladies, have you ever stopped to consider why your boyfriends or even husbands are never too comfortable with you having a best male friend? They know best how they think, and while you are busy defending your friendship, they read something else. And you ladies, why are you never too pleased with your man having a best female friend? That is because, in the long run, your gut tells you something will go down.
My ladies, do you question why you feel strange and to an extent jealous when your male ‘best’ friend finds himself a Mamacita that rocks his world? And I bet you gentlemen oddly feel the same way when your ‘best’ female friend finds herself a TDH (Tall Dark and Handsome)? I believe this is because secretly, you had hoped, knowingly or unknowingly to have them as an option.
A man doesn’t need you to be his type to be attracted to you. If he is going to lend an ear, be there for you always, he is playing the patient game and one day he will take his shot. Even us ladies, spending so much time with one man, sharing all our secrets with him, being ourselves, one hundred with him, if we aren’t careful, we evolve into wanting more. For both sexes, it usually gets tricky because we tend to find in the long run, that there is more.
This same idea makes fun storylines for the myriad of romcoms available out there. So many friendships have morphed into lifetime partnerships. Countless friendships crossed that line, and even though some did not become a whirlwind romance, they survived that lapse in judgment. Others simply did not. At the end of the day, it is all about being honest as to why you have a relationship with any individual. To avoid the pent-up emotions, stored energy around this person and sticky situations eventually, be head-on with your wants, needs, and concerns.
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The worse that could happen would be the friend zone, at least then both parties know where they stand and can choose to hang on or move on. The expectations become clear. Just be daring and seek what you want and stop punishing yourself by being a friend, while secretly harboring feelings and hoping for the light to shine on you someday, that day may never come. Figure out why you want the other person as a friend and make it work for you both.
Do you agree with Laetitia's take on this topic? Leave your comments below, and also remember to like, share, and click the subscribe button at the top, never to miss an update on Let’s Talk Nation Blog.
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